Behind Blue Eyes

There is something beautiful about a lonely autumn day.

Thu, 02 Oct 2008 21:47:11 GMT

Take this as you will

Mon, 01 Sep 2008 23:57:11 GMT

The worst thing that plagues the human race is organized religion. What is the one thing that can motivate people to do great and horrible things at once? The one thing is the promise of an afterlife, a way to continue on beyond the inevitable doom we all face. This can cause people to use their life to spread love and goodness to others that they do not know. At the same time the chance for an afterlife can drive people to sacrifice the livelihood and life of others for the same purpose. The problem is that even without organized religion people would still seek an afterlife. This motive could still lead others down the same sadistic path of cruelty to others to be remembered. There is no easy answer to this problem. It is something that will likely always plague humanity no matter how advanced we become and where our legions reach.

Freedom is the one and only resolution. People must live their lives for the days they have, not the things they seek beyond them. This is what we have and nothing more.

So...

Wed, 04 Jun 2008 02:38:54 GMT

Does anyone still read these that has me as a friend? please comment, I am curious.

It still exists...

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:39:19 GMT

Wow look at the picture of me, I remember when I would check this everyday...

I had a random urge to look at this site today at work, so here I am it seems as though no one uses this or checks it anymore. Maybe I will write in it again, we shall see.

too far too long

Thu, 05 Jan 2006 21:05:18 GMT

this cruise has been a lot of fun. I have learned that art auctions are a lot of fun to attend even beyond the free alcohol. I think I might attend a few back home next chance I get. on that note if anyone knows of or someone that know about any art auction in the future let me know and i'll be your best friend.

ps. miss you so much.

cruise

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 21:21:56 GMT

just went to an art auction was a lot of fun especially the free champagne. passed out/blacked out last night, not sure which but dont remember getting back to my room. having ogod fun so far. dinner isnt quite as fun as last time cause its doesnt have my uncle and aunt and cousins who are a lot more like my family, but its still a good time. drinking with my family is a lot of fun. k im gonna go i havent seen anyone all day since i slept so late. i'll try to update throughout the cruise.

ps. Amy I miss you so much, you should be here clearly.

Fri, 02 Sep 2005 16:34:54 GMT

So when I moved into New Leonardtown at school about a week ago it was probably the last time I will move out of the house I've lived in my almost 20 years (the turning 20 thing is also crazy, but not the point). I've talked about this before, but my parents are selling the house I grew up in sometime between "now and next summer", but they plan to be all moved out and sold by the time I'm out of school. So that means that it was probably the last time I will really live with my parents, which is crazy. As of now, I believe the plan is for me to get an apartment in College Park and move out of here into there. And as of now I think Jer is planning on living there with me, which would be cool.

Senior year I was so sure that I was ready to be independent and live on my own asap. I was never really homesick last year, for the most part that is. I think I handled the few additional responsibilies that I gained from being off at college, but the closer I get to actually living on my own and having to be a fully functioning adult, the less sure I am that I am ready for it. I mean I feel like I could definitely do it, since I basically am now in my campus apartment, and I don't really talk to my parents about much like that would make me rely on them emotionally. Some say thats weird, including them, but whatever it's how I am.

I dunno, not sure where I was/am going with this, it all feels like half thoughts, sorry.

Anyway, so in my 10am Math class today, my second lecture, I was already very confused haha. This semester is gonna be rough I'm feeling, but I'm not worried cause I'm not gonna stress about grades. I'm just gonna do my best and if its not good enough for someone fuck them. haha.

one more class in a few so until later (I'm gonna to try to keep this regular updating thing going).

Thu, 01 Sep 2005 05:10:56 GMT

So this summer was crazy for so many reasons.

-the beginning of the summer went really slow

-Work was hard and sucked

-But work = new car which I love

-craziness with my friends and I was the only one talking to them all for a while (thats still not back to normal)

-that led to me hanging out with my work buddy Franky

-which led to other good things that made the summer fly by

-there were some crazy trips and weekends and concerts and whatnot

-St. Michael's was a fucking mazing

-then school snuck up on me hardcore and I wasnt ready

-So much adjusting to do living in an apt, and not with joey

heres to a semester of Adderall and Drinking and roadtrips and craziness *oh and class*, lets hope I survive

updating

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 17:23:21 GMT

so hows that novel coming?

you know that novel you've been working on for three years?

hows the story coming?

got a lil protagonist?

got a lil character development?

maybe a lil obstacle for your character to overcome?

..I'm looking forward to reading it.

if you don't know, I can't tell you

k long overdue. and i dont really know how or care to cut so deal.

Wed, 01 Jun 2005 08:42:19 GMT

first off,

.........a long time later:

well we see how what went anyhoo, I survived finals by the skin of my teeth although that was prolly fading with me. I was dying and i'm sure i've said it a few times but really i am more releaved to be done with adderall for a while then school and finals. go to webmd.com read the side effects from common to rare and i was experiencing to some degree 90% of those by the end, I was loosing my grip on reality hardcore, but I dont think I got no heart disease yet so thats a plus. after a rough start and learning to study and learning I have ADD and loosing about 15lbs and my mind I got a 3.0 which means Tommy is getting himself a new RIDE =D.

thats the big excitement gonna bullet point the rest cause i feel like im falling backwards and under my chair and my vision is starting to shake as I type this.

~wisdom teeth out this past wednesday.

~working on getting a job thing by this friday.

~drove around bethesda/chevychase/DC for about 3 hours with Jer tonight.(raising my day rating from a low 3star to a full 5star day, and I dont just throw around 5star ratings let me tell you.prolly less than 10 in my life thus far)

~wrote bethesday on the first few tries. need sleep wanted to say more. bye.

*ps- incase you missed it NEW CAR =D!!!!

also amoosed me earlier:

<table width=350 align=center border=0 cellspacing=0 cellpadding=2>
<tr><td bgcolor="#999999" align=center>
<font face="Georgia, Times New Roman, Times, serif" style='color:black; font-size: 14pt;'>
<b>Star Wars Horoscope for Scorpio</b></font></td></tr>
<tr><td bgcolor="#CCCCCC">
<font color="#000000">
<div align="center"><img src="http://www.quizdiva.net/swhoroscopes/scorpio.jpg"></div>

You are a powerful character.
You tend to be possessive and lusty - which explains your greedy nature.
You feel threatened when people try to order you around or control you.
You are prone to suspicion and jealousy - but your resilience and passion get you what you want.

Star wars character you are most like: Han Solo</font></td></tr></table>
<div align="center">
<a href="http://www.blogthings.com/starwarshoroscopes/">What is Your Star Wars Horoscope?</a>
</div>

Sitting here.

Wed, 11 May 2005 04:39:12 GMT

about 10 days on CP left, I want to go home and have summer, but I want to just stay here without the school it would be too fun. oy.
grades are looking good, much better than before and should be a 3.0, but nothings 100%.
I need a summer job, maybe construction, building and being outside and good pay. or some sort of "professional" job. maybe do the college works with joey. we shall see.

everyone comment if you love me, or i'll hate you forever. =P.

sike.

PS

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 14:34:31 GMT

Some have misunderstood my last entry a little bit, although the main point is clear. I'm not worried about not having friends in the future, it's just that my new friends I wont have known my entire life, and I can't imagine feeling as close to.

the future is bleak

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 22:28:08 GMT

I was talking to my friend today. He was thinking about transferring to UMCP, which would have been cool. The only thing that he needed to do was maintain a good gpa, but with his harder classes that probably will not have happened. So it sucks that he wont be coming here, which means he'll prolly stay at his school. But then he said there will always be other years. Which got me thinking(my point will get more general shortly) and I realized there probably wont be, since I dont see any reason that he would transfer here after two years. I don't blame him he's got his friends at his school. Then I started thinking about my other friend who isn't in school after leaving first semester(his school wasn't for him). He's not taking classes currently and is instead working, trying to figure his shit out. I completely understand that and I think it's probably for the best.

ANYWAY: My point is that there won't be other years like my friend had said. I mean I got Joey here at UMCP, and this summer is gonna be a lot of fun and probably a lot like last summer, but thats it. Sometime after this summer but before next my parents plan to move(Ocean City, ocean pines area). Which means I'll see Joey at school, and we'll probably live together, but its not the same cause we are both working and under the stresses of school and what not. And I'll see my other two friends here and there, but not even close to as much. I'm not going into everyone else cause as much as I'll miss you too and see you less too, it's not the same as the people I usually see everyday. I mean yeah this year of not seeing them is going to help me get adjusted to that I'm looking forward to this summer a lot and going back to the way it was. Sure we talked about me living between their homes. Or we had the idea of getting an apartment. But I came to realize those are just nice ideas, but they are not going to happen.

More General: Everyone is going to have to say goodbye to their best friends sometime or another. If college didn't pull you apart and no one is moving anytime soon, think about after college. How likely will it be that you'll get jobs near each other? Say you do, then theres marriage, even if you're not planning on getting married your friends probably are. When people get married they often times move and switch cities. Even if you don't marriage takes a lot of time and energy to work. Think about your parents how often do they see their best friends, or anyone else's parents? They probably barely ever see their truly best friends. Sure they are friends with your neighbors, but its not quite the same.

I don't want this but I'm beginning to realize that I'm going to have to come to terms with it.

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 22:31:14 GMT

So Blink182's Damnit started playing and I heard this line:

It's alright to tell me what you think about me
I won't try to argue or hold it against you

which sparked this entry.

I want to hear what people have wanted to say to me but did not whether you still want to or not, if you ever had something to say to me but didnt and you remember it or you currently want to but havent I wanna hear it and as the lyrics say I wont try to argue or hold it against you I promise. Post Anonymous if you like I dont care.

Job Possibility?

Tue, 29 Mar 2005 04:40:47 GMT

If I were not able to turn my grades around, and I didn't come back to college next year...
Who would become a firefighter with me? you know you wanna

What's the problem

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 20:15:03 GMT

I found something I can't do no matter how hard I try.
College...
I am clean and sober, even though there is constant nagging to drink and smoke.
I don't skip classes, and I take notes. I review for exams. I study. I still have some fun, it's not all work.
I get a 1.8 GPA first semester. Which give me the privilege of being on academic probation. I am only taking 10 credits right now and still got an F on my first Calc 2 exam.
I am trying really hard to get the grades I use to get without any effort.
I go to workshops to help me. Time management already done. I meet with an advisor to figure this out and tell me what workshops I should attend. I have to see an academic advisor and now a faculty advisor before I can do anything basically. I think I'm ADD so I'm getting tested asap. Maybe that will solve all my problems, paying attention in class is very hard.
I have an academic skills workshop today 5-7 and a review for Chem at 7 (which I am taking again cause I got a F in it last semester). Then I'll probably come home and study some more. I don't know what it is.
I can't do it.

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 01:12:45 GMT

was trying to come up with something meaningful. i failed

all i got is life is complicated and motivating yourself is key no matter what its for, but especially school.

I was gonna make the collage cause i thought it looked cool, but then i saw andrew montgomery's icon thingy and i just started thinking about how he was a great friend to me and that i miss chillin with him.

life...

challenge yourself thats what lifes about.

you need to push your limits.

oh and i wanted to do this once people were done:

If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must comment with a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened. Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you

the serious and the lighthearted

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 18:09:57 GMT

At your ten year high school reunion... by robbiewriter
Your school name
Your name
Your job will be	Cult Leader
You will be worth	$585,528
Everyone will think you	smell like you did in PE

Quiz created with MemeGen!

she took my heart then threw it back at me, took it again and forgot she had it...

</a></font>
</font>

hmm

Wed, 08 Dec 2004 17:30:13 GMT

So here is the deal,

I can go to a Automotive school next semester if I want, I am registered for classes next semester and I'm still in housing. I have a decent GPA, at least I'm happy with it. I feel bad about leaving Jojo and making him room with someone else. He's mad at me but understands why I need to leave.

The Plan:

I'm going to an automotive technical school next semester, unless over winter break when I'm going around to shops and talking to mechanics and custom shop owners changes my mind about being a mechanic and owning a shop. If my mind gets changed I just go back to UMCP as if nothing happened. Some people are all about supporting me in this decision, new and old friend and I want to say Thank You Very Much. It really means a lot to me, because there are some people that aren't for this decision at all. My parents are now that we've had "the talk" about this decision are silently opposing it, although they say they will support whatever decision I make, and I know thats true they'll just be less happy about the mechanic path. This is going to be one fun, crazy, decision making winter break. just 9 more days of CP probably for good.

life decisions...

Wed, 10 Nov 2004 21:46:02 GMT

SO its been a while and well I've been busy and lazy so stop whining.

I have decided 99% that I am done with college. I am going to go to Lincoln Tech or other such for automotive technology education with Jer. Our plan is to then work in a shop for a year or two to get some experience and save up some money. Then, we would open a custom car shop with the money saved from not doing the 4 year college thing and working.

I dont think im even going to come back to UMCP next semester so long as that flies with my parents.

-anyone have thoughts on this plan i need input-

BACK WHERE I COME FROM

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 01:09:24 GMT

miss count all the beers you drank,
Back where i came from

I'm an idiot and i realize that now.
i wish i was always honest with people. I MISS YOU SO BADLY VISIT!!!
;(.

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 05:06:52 GMT

Thu, 02 Sep 2004 14:41:34 GMT

So my schedule is pretty awesome.

Monday: 10-1, 2-3 done

Tuesday: 11-3 done

Wednesday: 10-1, 2-3 done

Thursday: 11-2 done

Friday: 11-1, 2-3 done

Calc and Chem are reviews of things I learned in HS, CMSC is easing into programming so we'll see about that, and English 101 which i have in 40mins can suck a dick, I hate english. Stupid AP Lit not counting for shit. Calc ain't the same without Steph P and S, Shawn or Hobi, Chem ain't the same without having to re-explain things to Anna or not paying attention with Jer, or even Jad being Jad, and of course everyone making fun of Shorty McGee lol. Later.

Because I wanna know

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 16:37:55 GMT

OK sorry was looking at some old entries of mine and saw this comment from November of last year and I never figured out who this was someone tell me please

seeing is believing.
i believe that i'm in love with you.
*muah*

Tue, 31 Aug 2004 03:28:19 GMT

new icon from beach week pics thanks to she she.
had first classes today
Calc seems like it'll be easier this time through but I still hate it...we shall see about that
Chem seems like it is going to be a breeze like it was in high school with charuhas! haha he was the man
Comp Sci class proffessor seems cool, no idea if it is going to be easy or hard, have never really tried my hand a programing or whatever.

Part of me really really wants to drop out of college right now and work on cars for a living, I would honestly be SO happy with that life. Oh well i know I need an edumacation to fall back on. blah. I miss Spence and Jer. Later.

What kind of God are you?
Name
DOB
Favourite Color
You earthly time was spent	Supplanting kingdoms, punishing tyrants and levelling the empires of the wicked with the breath of your nostrils
Your throne is	fashioned from thorns and human femurs, surrounded by writhing, howling servants, with a footstool of souls on the sizzling shores of the Lake of Fire
You wear	Nothing! And that is why people worship you
Your Godly superpower is	Complete dominance and sovereignty over time and space and the infallible right to do with both as you please

This QuickKwiz by pelagicboreas - Taken 21738 Times. </a>